Posted December 7, 2018 – Narrated by Carmen

---

“Some folks have too much tumbleweed in their blood to settle down.”

Wanted!

The Sunshine Gang, AKA Living in Beauty (LIB), for vagary, loitering, tramping, cultural deviance, biting, and hanging laundry in public.

Last Seen:

Boondocking south along backroads, avoiding major highways.

Crimes:

Breaking out. Hacking the housing crisis. Forging an exciting, recession-proof retirement. Disturbing the pizza.

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

Beware!

Should you encounter these senior reprobates, do not approach even if they offer you a plate of succulent carnitas and grilled veggies. It’s only a ruse to trap you into playing Five Crowns all night long.

Whereabouts:

The scallywags were recently recognized along the upper Sacramento River drinking upstream from the herd.

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

and also in the Shasta Lake area free-loading on public lands …

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

It’s likely they set up camp near 20 Mile Beach at Walker Lake, Nevada …

• 

• 

• 

A reliable source spotted the desperados near McArthur-Burney Falls, Lake Britton, California  …

• 

• 

• 

But, tainted with the scent of freedom, the varlets could be holed up anywhere – wildlands, cities, suburbs.

The innocent looking seniors hide in full view, frequenting every public place except for shopping malls.  When newly LIBerated, the female Silverado declared:

“As God is my witness I will nevah inhale mall smell again!”

The fine folks at Sander’s Family almost had’em cornered while they were swiggin’ their excellent Cabernet Sauvignon in Pahrump, Nevada. But, the gang turned tail and made a spectacular getaway by the light of the Full Beaver Moon. 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

They’re shifty as all get-out. When rumors floated they might be hidin’ out at Lassen Volcanic National Park, they were sittin’ purty as you please at a Las Vegas golf course chowing down on a Thanksgiving buffet. But their winner-winner chicken dinner streak is all smoke and mirrors.

• 

• 

• 

The gig is up …

They’re buyin’ time and they know it. You just can’t exploit North America on a shameless non-conformist binge of wanderlust, craft beer, Salonpas and arthritis denial without paying the consequences. It ain’t fittin. It just ain’t fittin.

• 

• 

The Wickenburg Cowboys said the Sunshine Gang carried on and had a hoot-of-a-time and a fine rib supper at the Wickenburg Country Club and Golf Course. Just goes to show how a couple of no-good slicks can just slip in and feed with the herd.

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

Posse leaves at sunup

Pack a Chihuahua Bite Kit. When they’re not bailing their boss out of quarantine for biting little old ladies, The Silverados ride with the El Diablo of Taco Bell dogs. Don’t call him cutie-pie. Born teeth first, this bad hombre would just as soon rip yer jugglers out as look at ya’.

The brains and agitator of the bunch, he’s a hard mutt to crack. The way the gang members dote on his every need, he’s probably a cult leader, too. Fortunately, his recruitment efforts have come to a standstill.

• 

• 

Do not be deceived!

The gang name, Living In Beauty, is a front to give ’em more time. Their indetectable carbon footprint is just to cover their tracks. These crafty rascals only want to save the planet so there will be more escapes and hideouts like Harvest Hosts, which just added 329 golf courses to their list of complimentary overnight get-aways.

Beware of LIB fever!

The last posse retired early, turned, and drove their RV’s into the sunset. Once some folks feel the wind in their hair they just can’t go back. Don’t be surprised if The Road Home becomes The Road, Home. 

---

Reward:

Capture or corner the elusive Sunshine Gang at your own risk and you will get to pet an adorable unicorn with your soft, delicious fingers.

Safe Travels and Vaya con Dios, Friends.